We at The Bupkes acknowledge and respect that The Bupkes is not for everyone. Words are hard. Maintaining their meanings is harder. Not all have that weltschmerz scratch; not all who do turn to The Bupkes for their cathartic itch.
That’s OK. If Kurt Vonnegut could be wrong about the semicolon, then anyone can be wrong about anything; pobody’s nerfect.
There are many reasons not to subscribe to The Bupkes. We would like to give one more reason why there is. In recognition of how special you are by subscribing, we are offering you a special offer:
Subscribe now and you can have all The Bupkes for free1
And that’s not all. Subscribe now — or, for existing subscribers, act awkwardly around others until they subscribe — and we will throw in a pair of tickets for a screening of a year-old movie nobody liked.2
Indeed, there is no better expression of the Dream than to be judged not by the color of your skin but by the content of your shlocky romcom. We will not rest until all people can walk equally down the over-traveled path of derivative Hollywood plotlines.
So don’t miss this very special offer! Consider it a token of our appreciation.
Like life itself, for a limited time only.
Subject to availability and low moviegoing standards.