The tragic cognitive decline of Old Europe

Geo-dementia is a terrible thing.

Ever since Donald Rumsfeld put Old Europe in a home, it’s been so sad to watch its slow yet steady mental deterioration. It used to be so robust, even feisty. Now, Old Europe struggles with even basic tasks, like forming governments and providing for its citizens. It often babbles senselessly, in incomprehensible technocrat-speak that no one can really understand, about needing to become more like an erstwhile friend whose financial crisis nearly destroyed it and whose distant wars helped trigger migratory flows that gave its own latent ideas of supremacy something to run on.

Sure, Old Europe has its good days. It can overcome roaming fees and make airlines pay for delays. But it hurts to admit that the bad days are happening more and more often.

Just look how disoriented Old Europe has become. As it “scrambles” to come up with some answer to tariffs and mopes about getting left out of talks with Russia, “shocked” and “blindsided” by a more agile almost-octogenarian across the Atlantic,…